It has now been one year. Except I’m late, so please forgive me for forgetting the date that we started to get to know each other. I’m going to skip the part where we go through all the cool and amazing stuff we’ve done this year, and simply get on to the cool and amazing thing we’re doing next year, i.e, right now.
So. Here’s what we got. An teenage drug mystery told in 3 episodes, each of around 20 minutes. That’s right. They add together to make a feature.
So, we’re just beginning our auditions now, and so we’ve written several audition pieces, one of the more amusing one’s which is copy and pasted at the bottom of this post. There will be plenty more where this came from, and we might even post up a trailer or some such thing. You might even get to see some of the auditions later on. Stay tuned.
Matt and Max, Audition
Brief description: Fraternal twins who fit in as producers in the drug community. Have entered into the drug business not to make money, but simply to exercise their knowledge of chemistry.
M1: There are basically 3 viable ways to produce crystal meth. The first involves a chemical called pseudophedrine.
M2: Or ephidrene. Both of these and the other chemicals required for the reaction are generally available over the counter at a pharmacy.
M1: It’s a reaction called conversion. While most other meth labs convert at a rate of 50% or maybe 75%, we can convert at a rate of 92%, the highest possible for this reaction.
M2: However, of course, there is a large flaw with this system.
M1: Phosphide gas, from overheating. Causes death, or blindness, depending on the exposure.
M2: Plus, you need large amounts of pseudo to make a significant amount of meth.
M1: And the pharmacy tends to get suspicious when you buy about 50 packs of cold and flu pills.
M2: It’s fucked man.
M1: I know. What the fuck, right? I mean, meth is ,in fact, on the FDA’s list of approved medications.
M2: Used to treat ADHD.
M1: And obesity.
M2: Just imagine some 400 pound babyfaced fuck trippin’ on meth.
M1: Reminds me of why I’m in this business.
They look off in the future longingly.
M1: That and the chemistry.
M2: It is all about the chemistry.
M1: Heck yes. Brings us back to method number 2.
M2: Lithium. You take it from batteries and it goes through a series of reactions with solid sodium.
M1: But one drop of water on the sodium and BOOM.
M2: Lab is up in smoke. And you also need anhydrous ammonia, which is susceptible to explosive boiling.
M1: I know.
M1 and M2: SHIT.
M2: So how do you make meth safely and still ensure a quality product?
M1: Please. Curious consumer. Meet method number 3.
M2: Used commonly by motorcycle gangs in California, it uses some rather hard to find chemicals, which is the only downside.
M1: But at least they’re not as tough to get.
M2: This process uses the reductive amination of phenylacetone and methylaline, using some kind of mercury-aluminum amalgam as a catalyst.
M1: This is by far the most efficient method of production and allows us to make our lab cleaner and safer than many others in the community.
M2: We take the savings gained from using this method and pass it on directly to you, the customer.
M1 and M2: You in?